I was mugged today.

I was mugged today.  

Soon I shall be kidnapped. 

It was very clever if him, the mugger. Several cars and a beer truck passed by; a few looked before moving on. People walked,  oblivious or unaware at what was happening. The mugger was very clever. Most muggers skulk in shadows, this one stood out, openly, brazenly.

I can't say I didn't notice him, out in the sun. . Seeing him, I stiffened, whispered an oath.  It's terrible to say, but I knew immediately what he was and his intent. Maybe it was the clothes he wore, or the car he drove.  Perhaps it was a sixth sense. I don't know.

I drove past, hoping he hadn't noticed me. He pulled out behind to follow, I knew I was his mark. I hoped, foolishly, that he perhaps had received some instructions and would leave me at peace. But when he turned on the lights atop his car, my hopes were dashed in the strobe of red and blue

My mugger was incredibly clever, you see. With his blue uniform, his white car topped with attention-grabbing lights, and his gold badge, I could have easily mistaken him for a police officer. But the gun on his hip and the restraints on his belt displayed, without doubt, that he was an agent of force. And he would use the force to steal from my wallet.

He was clever, very clever. He had pulled me over, ostensibly, for public safety. My taillight was broken. And it was, having taken water some time ago. I feigned passive ignorance. It's best not to make any sudden moves around those capable of violence, nor to volunteer information to those you don't trust.   "Did I know," he asked? I claimed I didn't. He chucked.

Be polite to the person with the gun. I remember my self-defense classes.

He asked if I was in the racket. The racket, of course, is where you pay in, betting you will crash a car. They call it "car insurance"  Like a good citizen, I had paid my "premium" - though I would call it "the ante" or blind. Failure to do so and drive is punished with extortion.  But I didn't have proof,  he kindly noted that would be an extra pilfering.

He asked where I lived. See, the mugger can do this. If anyone else asks, I can refuse. But to refuse the mugger leads quickly to assault and kidnapping. So, reluctantly, I admitted my home.

He left to go back to his car. Most muggers attempt to make the transaction expedient. They close in swiftly, demand your wallet, and escape.  Not this one. They are clever. They are confident. You may ask why didn't you run when he turned his back.  Had I left, he would have given chase, called on other gang members. They would have assaulted me, and kidnapped me, and tossed me in a dungeon.  That is how they deal with those who don't acquiesce. 

So you can see why I was afraid to flee. 

After waiting about 10 minutes, He returned. He handed me my license and a paper. I have 15 days to repair the light, and 15 to produce proof I am in their i gambling racket. Failure results in his gang issuing me a "citation" - piece of paper - a contract I did not sign but they enforced. And if I don't pay, well - accidents happen to those who don't pay up. They tend to find themselves securely ensconced in the slammer.

I tried to plead with my mugger – I have no money. Could they at least mug someone who has money? 

No. 

I won't be able to repair the light, I will be fined, and I will be kidnapped.

No, you see we are all equally victims under their laws. Not laws that protect property or lives, but laws that allow for "cause."

What can they offer as an excuse? Do they make the city safer? Perhaps. But not one block from the mugging, fifteen people walked casually across a busy street. No crosswalk, no indication of their intent to cross to warn motorists. They simply strolled out in front of cars  hurrying to their destination. They trusted the vigilance of drivers.  Compared to a tail-light, that is very unsafe. Surely we ought have a mugger at that street, compelling, with threat of force, that they use the crosswalk.

Not five blocks away, I person was going fifty in a thirty, past a government building and in defiance of speed limits. Surely his speed was unsafe speed limits, generally are to reduce the damage in accidents and ensure the driver can react. Sadly, my mugger was too busy finishing his report to be there. And they coyly say they can't mug whom they don't see. Surely we ought have a gang member stationed there, or several, lest these marks go on with their day un-accosted.

A gang-member, in his blue and with his badge of gold, on every corner.  Sounds quaint. But if public safety is the issue, then they ought better ensure it.

And how is kidnapping going to improve the circumstances? So kidnapped, I cannot work, I cannot pay taxes. I shall be useless to the gang leaders and gang shot-callers as a revenue stream. I shall only exist as a warning. "Do not resist when we mug you, but give your money quietly, lest we kidnap you!" In short, kidnapping is a short-term resolution.

Because that's not what mugging is all about. Safety? They do not are for safety. City peace – not one whit. These are the polite lies they use to mask what they really want: money.  They cannot offer a service that deserves it - when was the last time crime was prevented by a cop. They offer deterrent, perhaps (though most criminals simply return to their trade.) But deterrent is a small satisfaction when you are the victim of a crime.  

If someone simply, on threat of force, pilfered cash from your wallet. Why you'd call it a crime. And perhaps you'd even get help. So long as that help wasn't busy mugging someone else, they will get around to your case - eventually. Too bad your wallet will have been emptied by then. .

So I am preparing to be kidnapped. I hope I can put myself at the mercy of the shot-callers, and avoid this. But in the event I cannot, then so be it. Better imprisonment then.

This all seems melodramatic. I assure you, I know. But what kind of world do we live in when armed gangs run the cities, extort the citizenry, and – through equal punishment, punish unequally? After all, where I not poor, I could simply repair my car.

Arguing that a car is a luxury gets us nowhere. Your case rests on the use of force. We must have a license because to drive without one incurs the wrath of the gang. Yes, a car is not a right. But property, and it's use, is.  It harms no one to use my vehicle with a busted taillight. They have not attempted to convince me, using reason, that my taillight endangers anyone sufficiently that I must be mugged. So they apply force. 

They have the guns, they make the rules, I suppose.

So, this front line mugger, this reverse-Robin-Hood  champion in the war against the poor, as struck a double blow.  I was mugged today. Soon I shall be kidnapped.