Hello Again!
My plan was to write more often. I have not. Dear readers, I have done you a disservice. I throw myself upon my lappy! I prostrate myself for your forgiveness.
Or perhaps I just sip my large black coffee.
I have pushed my other projects back to tell you about my latest adventure. I am excited to say that I am a Mobile Hobo, or "Mobo". I confess that i do love that term. I cannot claim credit for it's invention. My friend Don told me it. No idea where he got it.
A Mobile hobo is a hobo who has a car. If we want to get pedantic, a hobo is a wandering worker, car or no. I am actually living the life of a tramp or a bum. Unfortunately, trying to combine "mobile" with tramp or bum makes me sound like a demented octogenarian tapioca junkie. M'tramp. M'bumramp. Tramampum...Mobum.
Trump? No. That would imply I have money to not look like a hobo, but still choose to for reasons of toupee.
Speaking of dressing up. My friend Jes (read her blog here) is a master fashionista. She knows her stuff, and is a master deal finder. Want to look good on the cheap. She can help. She says I would look good in Taupe. I trust her. However, I find the name incredibly vulgar.
Taupe. Say it. Taupe.
So when I lose these last "few" (80) clinging pounds, I shall get something Taupe.
Back to the topic. I am a bum, at least temporarily. I shall go into my justifications in future blog posts, but for the time being I want to give a few first impressions.
1) Early to bed and early to rise, more or less.
I worked out hard yesterday. I walked for an hour, then I did the Arc trainer, then I lifted. I was beat to hell. But I started at 10:30 pm and finished my post-workout shower around 2. Getting to bed that late normally isn't a problem. It usually takes me about a half an hour for me to get to sleep, more in the car. Suddenly it's 5:30 am and light's shining in. I don't want to get too much sun..So that means moving indoors. I got 3 hours of sleep last night.
I'm a little hinky
2) Walmart becomes your friend.
I slept in the parking lot of a local Walmart. The advantage of Walmart is the parking lot is huge. There are plenty of empty spaces to park in. You look exactly like any of the drones working. One person parked right next to me. they either didn't see me or didn't care. And more importantly, when morning comes you can head into the bathroom quickly and take care of business.
3) Kill the lights and put it in neutral...well..park, actually.
These are what will get to you. The lamps in a lot are pretty bright. This discourages crime, but makes sleeping difficult. I solved this by hanging blankets as makeshift curtains. It has the added effect of obscuring me from the curious. Always hit the parking break
4) Internets
We cannot, in this day and age, live without our Cheezeburger Cats. Here is my cursory exploration of local internets.
Starbucks: Internet Speed is good, but it's costly to sit there (about 3 bucks a day). Second best hours (6am to 10pm) and if you go late at night they sometimes give you food they would otherwise throw away.
McD's: Where I write this. Only a dollar for a soda pop or a coffee. Sit all day. Longest hours (5:30 until Midnight). Internet is woefully slow. Especially if some douche-canoe is HOGGING ALL THE BANDWIDTH. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, KID WITH THE HEADPHONES! QUIT YOUR YOUTUBINATING AND STOP CLOGGING MY WEBPIPE!
Library: Shortest Hours (10am to 5pm). Comparable to Starbucks. Cheapest (FREE).
Any other locations that you know of? Send me a line.
5) It's not so bad.
As long as you have a moderate size car, you can sleep pretty well. I have to sleep sitting up - mostly because I normally sleep on my stomach, and until I get a van, that's not an option. So I just sit up on a bank of pillows and stretch my legs out. But it's cozy and so far I am lucky to have cool evenings, few insects, and zero . We shall see if this continues.
Well, that's it so far. If you liek this, then like it, or follow me. In the future I shall discuss other strategies for going "off grid". Most notably food and income. How do you maintain a diet? Can you live on canned beans alone? Gluten free and Vegan options?
Also, I added to the list of books here
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