Peaches. I hear from a very reliable source...

...that they come in a can. And that they were put there by a man, in a factory, downtown.

We have a peach tree in the yard. This makes sticking on a slow-carb diet a little harder.

Tomorrow is "cheat day," a phrase which lost most of it's meaning when I stopped the slow-carb diet two weeks back. I don't remember the triggering event. Maybe it was pizza. Maybe it was moon-men. I'll blame it on Moon men.

Moon men are total assholes.

Quick run down on what I ate today. I calculated carbs and proteins and such until my 2 o'clock panic and binge. I wasn't feeling particularly hungry or cranky. But I eat when I am stressed, bored, or simply out of some chthonic and inertial habit. My 2:15 cups of hot cocoa were a combination of all three.

Who in there right mind drinks hot cocoa in the summer in Florida?

Well, I wasn't in my right mind. Stressed from work, a little bored, and not paying attention, I drank 4 cups without noticing.

Most of my calories came in the morning. The day started out OK. Eggs and Lentils, 40 grams of protein, like I ought, at 8:30 am. Then sausage at 11 am. That was a little overmuch. Hitting 1000 calories before 12 am. But still ketogenic, so I should be OK, right? I'll eat less for the rest of the day, I thought.

Oh, Jason, you naive bastard.

By 1 I had drank 3 glasses of wine, and by 2pm, when I get off work, 4 cups of hot cocoa.

Screw it.

See, the thing about a diet or lifestyle change (Thanks, Tom, for reminding us they are synonymous), is that it requires some combination of time, effort, and money. And I really have not one.

Tim talks about being lazy and losing weight, simply by tracking data. But, being diabetic, my body doesn't play by the rules. It spills my coffee, takes my taxi, and gives me the finger.

So I sit on the curb, coffee-stained and late for weight-loss Friday at work.

The slow-carb diet works, but you have to be motivated or smart about it. Lentils are great, but damned if cooking them is a bit of a pain. And even so, I really can't eat that many. I need to keep starchy carbs under 100 grams. That means only 2 cups a day with other vegetables.

Anyway, dear readers, you may shame me for my over eating! That's supposed to work, right?

Maybe just send the space-bears from Mars to steal my women!

Hmm.. this was supposed to be more inspiring! OK, dear readers, let's try this.

What do you suggest as punishment for over-eating? Ave Marias? Flagellation? Space-bears?

The first person who comments will get $5 if I don't follow a slow-carb ketogenic diet tomorrow.

Another $5 to the funniest punishment, again, if I don't stay Ketogenic* tomorrow

Also, Tomorrow I make peach brandy liqueur. It's one of my electives for Free Grad School. Chemistry, or something.